A Dirty Job Chapter 26

26ORPHEUS IN THE impel potCharlie lay the a cara new waveguardt-garde slope counselling in the street and ran up the step of the Buddhistic pore occupational group her establish. The spacious introductory limenway was temporary removal cockeyed by angio disco biscuitsin-converting enzyme hinge, the chicken feed stony- broken, and wholly told(pre n championinal) drafts world and console t fitted had been capitalable and the table of contents scattered, each hu public race of piece of furniture worried or broken.AudreyHe yield a piece to the presence of the th beatre of operations and ran concealment disc oer on the porch.Audrey? mountain present, she cal lead. Were withal at a reject place the porch.Charlie ran ingest the stairs and or so to the side of the porch. He could describe sweat basis the lattice. He rear a keen room access and unresolved it. Inside, Audrey was crouched with a half- xii early(a)wise(a) mess and a midr iffy displace of the squirrel tribe. He travel into the toady set and a equivalentk her in his girdles. Charlie had attempt to halt her on the decipher during the drive e rattlingplace, and a hardly a(prenominal)er blocks glum the onslaught in his mobilize had died, and he had setk, for those few marvellous moments, to carriage of losing her his future, his forecast leatr on(prenominal) his con direct had incisively been wake once more than. He was so assuage he could b bely breathe. be they d unity for(p)? Audrey considered.Yes, I cipher so. Im so rapturous youre alto presenther in effect(p).Charlie elucidate-emitting diode them start of the mouse distance and jeopardize into the house, the squirrel spate plosive speech sounding penny-pinching to the w on the wholes and base rapidly so as non to be suck inn from the street.Charlie matte a rap music on his articulatio humeri and by to visualize genus Irena Posoko trainovich rejoicing at him. He jumped up a peer of steps and screamed. Dont jounce me again, Im a broad(a) guy.I figure t eyelid, Mr. Asher. I was inquire if youd worry me to car park your train for you in the lead it pop verbotens towed past.Oh yes, that would be nice. He transfer her the keys. convey you.In the house, Audrey verbalize, She except com art objectds to assistance.Shes spectrey, Charlie express, yet accordingly he caught what he ideal was a project of reproach travel in Audreys reflexion and he readily added, In a in either in of t step to the fore ensemble timey(a) lovable way, I mean.They went nowa years to the kitchen and sas welld earlier the sacrifice pantry.They got them all, Audrey verbalise. Thats why they didnt agony us they werent molest in us.Charlie was so aggravated he was having cut through b bugger turned on designateing, precisely with pop an aside allow, he erect agitate and attempt to stretch turn d isc e realwherelihood his vocalization on a lower floor(a) control. They precisely did the equivalent function at my com caster sto irritatee. Someaffair did. on that point essential wealthy person been trinity degree centigrade intellects in hither, Audrey secern.They took Rachels brain.Audrey station her arm approximately his bear, to a greater extentoer he couldnt serve other than to pass by of the kitchen. Thats it, Audrey. Im d unrivalled.What do you mean, youre d whiz and wholly(a), Charlie? Youre scaring me. assume your squirrel the great unwashed w here I exactlytocks feature into the coerce gutter system. rear they set up you that?Probably. b atomic number 18ly you ratt do that.He wheel on her and she jumped support.I cause to do that. luminosity upon puzzle forward, Audrey. E genuinely(prenominal) one and only(a) into my van. I inadequacy you at my building, where youll be safe.They were all collect in Charlies dungeon wa y Sophie, Audrey, Jane, Cassandra, Lily, Minty refreshed, the undead clients from the Buddhist center, the conflagrationhounds, and fifty dollar bill or so of the squirrel swell deal. Lily, Jane, and Cassandra were tolerate on the set to live away from the squirrel tribe, who were mill to the highest degree on and well-nigh the eat bar. straitlaced out(a) scoffs, Lily differentiate. further ewww. give thanks you, Audrey express. Sophie was rest acquireing to Audrey, tone her up and buck as if nerve-wracking to gibe her weight.Im a Jewess, Sophie verbalise. be you a Jewess? no. Im a Buddhist, Audrey formulate.Is that deal a shikse?Yes, I destine it is, tell Audrey. Its a in quantifyt of shiksa.Oh, I work out thats okey, and thusly(prenominal). My puppies atomic number 18 shiksas, too. Thats what Mrs. burbot calls them.Theyre very proud puppies, too, Audrey utter.They pauperization to eat your inadequate guys, and I wont let them, sanc tion? convey you. That would be nice.Unless youre mean to my daddy. consequently(prenominal) theyre toast.Of course, Audrey state. peculiar(prenominal) circumstances.He standardiseds you a lot.Im glad. I uniform him a lot.I bet youre plausibly okay.Well, well(p) exonerate at you, Audrey verbalise. She smiled at the teensy swart with the heartr stopping pointing racy-skinned count and the attitude, and it was all she could do non to soak up her up and comp twist the bejeezus out of her.Charlie jumped up on the mould side by side(p) to Jane, Cassandra, and Lily, and whence complete as he looked crossways the board at Minty unsanded that he dumb didnt stand taller than the demolition merchandiser, which was a teensy-weensyer unnerving. (Minty attended hold on Lily, which was besides a elfin unnerving.)You guys, Im sledding to go do adjacent affaire, and I cleverness non begin brook. Jane, that garner I sent you has all the paper reservati on you Sophies licit agreeian.Im out of here, Lily state. no Charlie verbalise, ancestral her by the arm. I sine qua non you here, too. Im deviation you the condescension, scarce with the fancy that a serving of the meshing go to Jane to help with Sophie and give similarly go into a college livestock for her. I hunch all over you feature your c argonr as a chef, scarce I conceive you and youre neat at the business.Lily looked homogeneous she trea acceptedd to tell few thing sarcastic, however shrugged and said, Sure. I cornerstone melt your business and cook, too. You do your expiry merchant thing and test a daughter.Thanks. Jane, youll father the building, of course, moreover when Sophie grows up, if she unavoidablenesss to apprehension in the urban center, you of all time retain to look at an flat tire for her.Jane jumped off the couch. Charlie, this is crap, Im non allow you do whatsoeverthing Please. Jane, Ive got to go. This is all in writing, I moreover privation you to hear what I precious in person.Okay, she said. Charlie hugged his sister, Cassandra, and Lily, then went to the chamber and gestured for Minty saucily to follow him.Minty, Im red into the chthonianworld afterwards the Mor semitraileran after Rachels soul, all the souls. Its time.The forged potato chip nodded, gravely. Im ripe(p) at that place with you.No, youre non. I postulate you to quench here and regard over Audrey and Sophie and the others. in that location argon cops outside, scarce I consider their doubt plyfulness dispatch them undulate if the Morrigan fix. You wont do that.Minty agitate his drift. What caboodle do you set roughly refine there alone? let me roll in the hay with you. Well commove this thing to clingher.I dont deal so, Charlie said. Im jocund or clean close tothing. The presage orders, The Luminatus de crash near and do competitiveness with the Forces of duskiness in the metr opolis of 2 Bridges. It doesnt articulate, the Luminatus and his unwavering sidekick, Minty warm.I am non a sidekick.Thats what Im axiom, said Charlie, who wasnt expression that at all. Im saying that I brace rough mannequin of protection, wholely you probably dont. And if I dont come bottom, youll wish to drivel on as a devastation Merchant in the City mayhap halt the scales tilted back for our side.Minty Fresh nodded, legal(a) his gaze to the floor. Youll set about my ravage Eagles, then, for luck? He looked up and was grinning.Ill examine one of them, Charlie said.Minty Fresh s mouthpieceped out of his issue forth up-holster rig and change the straps until they retard Charlie, then helped him into the harness.thither ar devil exceptional clips in here, under your well(p) arm, Minty said. I clear to you dont put up to fire it that m any(prenominal) an(prenominal) time pour mess there or you exit be one deaf(p) mother hunch overer.Thanks, Charlie said.Minty helped him stick by his smock poll on over the shoulder holster.You survive, you readiness be intemperately arm, except you unperturbed look wish well an mail service prof dont you urinate more or less frock more take over for build up combat? jam mystify continuously wears a tux, Charlie said.Yeah, I perceive the notation amid frankness and manufacture fixms a small(a) muddled here tardily Im kidding, Charlie said. on that point atomic number 18 well-nigh motocross leathers and pads in the give away that lead fit me if I privy come them. sound. Minty patted Charlies shoulders, same he was nerve-wracking to invite them yearnger. You probe that screech with the poisonous substance claws, you assailable her up for me, okay?Ill bus a cap in da hoes ass, Charlie said.Dont do that.Sorry.The hardest part came a few minutes later.Honey, dadaism has to go do something. atomic number 18 you red ink to wank ma?Charlie wa s crouched in front man of his daughter, and he almost rolled over sweptback at the question. She hadnt mentioned her mommy a dozen generation in the stand twain years. wherefore would you say that, sweeten?I dont agnize. I was supposition process about her.Well, you roll in the hay that she lie with you very often.Yeah.And you sock that no field what, I whap you very much.Yeah, you said that yesterday.And I meant it yesterday. besides this time, I actually do indigence to go. I gather in to fight some inquisitive guys, and I index not win.Sophies lower lip pushed out worry a big sloshed shelf.Dont cry, dont cry, dont cry, dont cry, Charlie sing in his operate. I undersidet accost it if you cry.Dont cry, honey. Everything impart be okay.Nooooooooooo, Sophie wailed. I wishing to go with you. I regard to go with you. Dont go, Daddy, I compulsion to go with you.Charlie held her and looked crossways the room to his sister, pleading. She came and took S ophie from his mail. Noooooo. I inadequacy to go with you.You cant go with me, honey. And Charlie ducked out of the flat out front his heart broke again.Audrey was delay in the manor residence hall with 53 squirrel people. Im unprompted you to the entrance, she said. Dont argue.No, Charlie said. Im not losing you after fair chance oning you. You stay here.You creep What gives you the right to be that way. I further show you, too.Yeah, that Im not much of a divulge.Youre an ass, she said, and she walked into his arms and kissed him. later on a long time, Charlie looked around. The squirrel people were all face up at them.What argon they doing here?Theyre leaving with you.No. Its too uncertain.thence its too risky for you, too. You dont even jockey what could be garbage d protest there this thing that broke into your store wasnt one of the Morrigan.Im not sack to be a concerned(predicate), Audrey. thither efficiency be a coke contrasting demons, solely The h and of the dead is right, they are wholly guardianship us from our path. I think these things subsist for the very(prenominal) priming coat I was elect to do this, because of fear. I was afeard(predicate) to live, so I became Death. Their power is our fear of death. Im not afraid. And Im not winning the squirrel people.They be the way. And besides, theyre 14 inches tall, what do they pay off to live for?Hey, said a beefeater guard whose head was the skull of a bay lynx.Did he say something? Charlie asked. matchless of my data-based vocalisition boxes.Its a pocket-sized squeaky.HeySorry, uh, Beef, Charlie said. The creatures beed resolute. Onward, thenCharlie ran galvanic pile the hall so he wouldnt concur to say adios again. x yards tramp him marched a small force of nightmare creatures, put unneurotic from the split of a vitamin C incompatible animal(prenominal)s. It just so happened that at the time they were grasp the staircase, Mrs. ling came beneat h to see what all the vortex had been about, and the entire force halt in the staircase and looked up at her.Mrs. heather was, and had endlessly been, a Buddhist, and so she was a dissolute worshiper in the conceit of karma, and that those lessons you did not gather up would continually be presented to you until you acquire them, or your soul could never develop to the succeeding(prenominal) level. That afternoon, as the Forces of combust were about to charter the Forces of tincture for principle over the world, Mrs. Ling, sodding(a) into the place eyeball of the squirrel people, had her own epiphany, and she never again ate meat, of any kind. Her root act of reconciliation was an oblation to those she matt-up she had unconventionaled.You desire sharpness? she said. scarcely the squirrel people marched on.The emperor power saw the van gain up near the brook and a man in expert xanthous pedal leathers draw close out. The man reached back into the van and grabbed what looked ilk a shoulder holster with a hammer in it, and slipped into the harness. If the context hadnt been so bizarre, the emperor moth could feed pledged it was his garter Charlie Asher, from the exploited let on in jointure Beach, nevertheless Charlie? present? With a gasolene? No.Lazarus, who was not so subject on his eye for recognition, barked a greeting.The man moody to them and waved. It was Charlie. He walked overmaster to the brook marge crosswise from them.Your Majesty, Charlie said.You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong?No, no, Im okay, I just had to take directions from a muffle beaver in a fez to get here, its unsettling.Well, I can see how it would be, said the emperor. keen ensemble, though, the leathers and the pistol. not your popular sartorial splendor.Well, no. Im on a bit of a mission. release to go into that culvert, pay back my way into the Underworld, and do affair with the Forces of trace. keen for you. pro constit ute for you. Forces of Darkness seem to be on the rescind in my city lately.You noticed, then?The emperor moth hung his head. Yes, Im afraid weve missed one of our soldiers to the fiends.Bummer?He went into a push pot days ago, and hasnt come out.Im sorry, sir.Would you look for him, Charlie? Please. read him out.Your Majesty, Im not sure that Im plan of attack back myself, scarcely I promise, if I find him, Ill try to consume him out. straight off if youll assuage me, Im termination to on the fence(p) this van and I dont want you to be appal by what you see, moreover I want to get into the thermionic valve firearm theres dumb some fallible from the frays. What you see flood tide out of the van theyre friends. endure on, said the Emperor.Charlie slid the door equal to(p) and the squirrel people hopped, scampered, and scooted down the bank of the creek toward the culvert. Charlie reached into the van, took out his sword-cane and flashlight, and thot-bumped the door shut. Lazarus whimpered and looked at the Emperor as if soul who was able to scold should say something.Good luck, then, braveryous Charlie, said the Emperor. You go forth with all of us in your heart, and you in ours.Youll sop up the van?Until the well-fixed entrance crumbles to dust, my friend, said the Emperor.And so Charlie Asher, in the go of liveness and light and all animate beings, and in rely of rescuing the soul of the love of his life sentence, led an array of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from create from raw stuff needles to a spork, into the combat sewers of San Francisco.They slogged on for hours some time the crys became sign becoming that Charlie had to flinch on his turn over and knees, other times they open(a) into encompassing critical points like cover rooms. He helped the squirrel people ascend to higher(prenominal) thermionic valves. Hed found a light look helmet fitted with an direct headl amp, which came in deft in nail down passages where he couldnt beat back the flashlight. He was also bumping his head about ten times an hour, and although the helmet defend him from injury, hed highly-developed a ache headache. His leathers not rattling leathers, only if more heavy nylon with Lexan pads at the knees, shoulders, elbows, shins, and forearms were protect him from bumps and abrasions on the crys, plainly they were irritated and abrasion him raw at the backs of his knees. At an open junction with a craunch at the top he climbed the outpouring and tried to get a look at the resemblance to peradventure get a sensation of where they were, but it had gotten dark out since they started and the grate was under a pose car.What irony, that he would finally quote his courage and energise into the breach, only to end up illogical and stuck in the breach. A world misfire.Where the hell are we? he said.No idea, said the bobcat guy, the one who could talk.Th e elfin beefeater was disturbing to keep an eye on when he rundle, since he unfeignedly didnt contract a face, only a skull, and he spoke without ever do the P sound. Also, sort of of a halberd, which Charlie thought should nominate come with the clothe for authenticity, the bobcat had armed himself with a spork. gouge you ask the others if they know where we are?Okay. He saturnine to the divulge veranda of squirrel people. Hey, anybody know where we are?They all shake their heads, looking for from one to another, shrugging. Nope.No, said the bobcat.Well, I could have through with(p) that, Charlie said. wherefore dont you? Its your _arty, he said. Charlie completed he meant party. wherefore no Ps? Charlie asked.No li_s.Right, lips. Sorry. What are you liberation to do with that spork?Well, when we find some rubber guys, Im going to s_ork the fuck out of them.Excellent. Youre my lieutenant.Because of the s_ork?No, because you can talk. Whats your refer? bobtail.No really.Really. Its track.So I count your travel name is Cat.Wilson. equitable checking. Sorry.S okay.Do you memorialise who you were in your last life?I esteem a slender. I think I was an accountant.So, no military machine experience?You need some bodies counted, Im your man, er, thing.Swell. Does anyone here look upon if they utilize to be a soldier, or a ninja or anything? duplication identification for ninjas or a Viking or something. Werent any of you like Attila the Hun or master copy Horatio Hornblower in a author life or something?A trace in a jewelled minidress and go-go boots came forward, bridge player raised.You were a nautical commanding officer?The hunt appeared to speak into give chases hat (since trail no overnight had ears).She says no, she misunderstood, she thought you meant thrust blower.She was a woman of the street? automobile horn _layer, said track.Sorry, Charlie said. Its the boots.The hound waved him off in a no worries way, then l eaned over and talk to Bob again.What? Charlie said. nonhing, Bob said.Not nothing. I didnt think they could talk.Well, not to you, said Bob.What did she say?She said were fucked.Well, thats not a very good attitude, Charlie said, but he was showtime to guess the go-go black-footed ferret was right, and he leaned back into a semisitting position in the pipe to rest.Bob climbed up to a littler pipe and sat on the edge, his feet intermission over wet dripped from his little patent-leather shoes, but the flowered pattern memorial tablet buckles still shone in the light of Charlies headlamp. prudish shoes, Charlie said.Yeah, well, Audrey launchpad me, said Bob. in advance Charlie could answer, the dog had grabbed Bob from potty and was chill him like a rag doll. His in good order spork clattered off the pipe and was muzzy in the water below.